Friday, April 2, 2010

Panty Pranks

Panty Pranks

in an act of free expression
my defiled garments
were left under the influence
of permanent markers
piled in a hot heap
on the tile-trodden floor
of the Laundromat

here is what those pranksters
wrote on my poor panties:

Pink lace boy shorts:
muffin top + doily
sweet spillage

Black & white polka dot bra:
(now with doorknobs)

Floral-patterned granny panties:
insert udder here

White thong:
THE flux capacitor

comfy cotton thong
I believe in magic
Make me disappear

Lavender silk thong:

Baby blue whale briefs:
Rough Seas Ahead

Ribbon-edged sheer:
I’m cheap enough to rip off!

Pin-striped set:
lightning blue thread and bows
Corn or Cob?

Gold ruffles:
Temper Tantrum?
Spank Me!

Cotton rainbow-colored
bikini bottom:
the tunnel to
the land of the unicorns
Beware of Dragons!

Red boyshorts:
Red Rover Red Rover
Send Big Boy on over

Satin triple v string:
Rice Pudding Dispenser

Neon orange and green
heart hiphuggers:
laundry card: $5
bottle of tide: $12.99
new lingerie: $34
your face when you find this: Priceless
ps don’t leave your clothes in the machine
its rude

What those jerks don't realize is that it costs way more than thirty-four bucks to replace an entire set of woman's underwear.

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